By now some of the more familiar readers of this blog might have become a bit bored with my complaining about Swedish language and culture. Although I would argue in my own defense that all my complaints are completely warranted and fully supported by others, I do not want to be a nag all the time! So, in order to compensate for my previous pessimistic posts, I will now list all the good things about Sweden in one complete list*.
Ten things I like about Sweden:
1.) Although quite incomprehensible when spoken, Swedish does have a nice melodic swing to it, and is uttered in voices that make me think of the quacking of Donald Duck, which is funny!
2.) Come to think of it, Swedes call Donald Duck ‘Kalle Anke”, which is way more original than what other countries did: just adopting the word Donald Duck!
3.) It has the biggest ever IKEA-shops
3.5) Moreover, one of these shops is circular - yet another sign of Swedish originality.
- kanelbullar according to IKEA
4.) Expressing Sweden's best in a single word: Kanelbullar - the world’s best dog-turd-shaped bread rolls with cinnamon flavour. One can also get them vanilla-flavoured, but why bother for improvement if you already have perfection?
5.) Here’s another one: Fika - coffee and… kanelbullar - though you are allowed to eat something else, I have been told, as long as it is sweet and goes with the coffee.
Other great Swedish inventions include:
6.) Standing in line: granted, people in other countries also try to copy this behaviour every once in a while, but none are so good as Native Swedes at standing orderly in lines and patiently wait their turn. One might begin to think that Swedes own a separate gene of some sort that both compels them - and equips them with the patience - to form and maintain lines...
7.) Knäckebröd: aka dry flat 'crisp'-bread that does not dry out – it’s already dry – and produces a ‘knacking’ sound when chewed. (Side-note: Finns have a patent on a similar invention, and so do the Norwegians, but that – according to a very trustworthy Swedish source who desires to remain anonymous – those other ‘Knäckebröd’ are all fakes).**
8.) Messmor: like Marmite, you either absolutely despise and detest it, or love and idolize it. What it is: some sort of sandwich spread that is both salty and sweet, and is made of whey! I personally think it is awesome and would marry it if such a thing was not prohibited by law!
9.) Did I mention IKEA?
10.) I’m certain I didn’t mention Swedes’ remarkable capacity to idolize and compliment a foreigner’s Swedish and in the same second switch the conversation back to English in order not to further embarrass said foreigner with his horrific pronunciation and complete incomprehensibility (yes, I do speak from experience...) Add to that Swedes' apparent natural fluency in English (I have been told that Swedes are born with proficiency in English...), and this mixes up to a very demotivating excellence of Swedes in comparison to all others.
However, being a natural-born pessimist, I can’t resist the temptation to also list some annoying characteristics of Swedes :
- They stand in lines everywhere: I mean, sometimes this is just plain neurotic! We are SUPPOSED to fight over right to gain entrance to a Metro-train during rush hours, that is the purpose of it all!
- They stand in line all the time: Swedes que up on every possible - and impossible - occasion!
- Everything is bloody expensive. My preference for Knäckebröd partly arises from the fact that I am unable to buy proper food!
- There are IKEA's everywhere you go...
- Although singing and sounding duck-like, the Swedish language remains incomprehensible when spoken by a true Swede
I guess I could go on and on with this list, but that would undermine my ideas for future posts, so I won't continue now. More frustrations - and also wonders - of Sweden from the eyes of a foreigner will soon follow!
* 'Complete list' might be a slight exaggeration, though I did strive to be all-encompassing. Additions are more than welcome, as always!
** More on Knäckebröd: Swedes have been making and baking this stuff ever since 500 AD (no, not 500 AD sharp, that's an estimation, please...). But the stuff we would actually recognize as Knäckebröd nowadays was only 'invented' around 500 years ago (that'd be in the year 1500 APPROXIMATELY, yes...).
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